It’s just a matter of being human that we naturally seek the approval of others.

That’s fine.

This is who we are.

But if you’re really being honest, how many times has the approval of others determined your life?

I can tell a story out of my life.

For a long long time I neglected the person inside me because it was just not what others would expect me to be.

I always felt a little misunderstood or not even understood at all.

It seemed like to get along with my friends I always had to switch a part of myself off.

And I cannot even tell which part that was or why I had it.

It was just that whenever I was out with friends, something inside me got switched off. I knew nobody would understand the things I was talking about so I didn’t bring them up at all.

E.g. I’m a very sensitive person. I’ve always been.

And as a matter of that I do experience things more intensely than others do. I think a lot more about my actions and the consequences of it.

So time by time it might also happen that I suddenly come up with life changing or even philosophical question, for example whats the reason we’re here.

One moment you’re talking to me about your hildays and the next moment I’m asking you what the prupose of your life is.

You may ask yourself now how I manage to bridge the gap between holiday and life purpose?

Well, they’re not even that far away.

Let me illustrate my thinking:

If you tell me about where you’re going next week. And you’re talking very engagingly.

Any maybe you leave a side note on how pissed off you are with your work.

Then I will start thinking.

About why you’re still having your job when you obviously dislike it.

I will think about what kind of life it is when you only live for the 3 weeks of vaycation each year.

I think you get where I’m pointing at?

In the end, the point is that a lot of people might even be offended if I asked a question like that.

This is why I always neglected this part of me when I was out with people.

You might have noticed that I wrote “was” instead of “am”… Or maybe not, doesn’t matter ;)

Anyway. There came a moment where I must have said something.

I talked before I thought about it.

And something completely opposit happened.

Instead of blaming me or looking at me strangely my friends actually started to engage in a discussion with me about what I just said.

Amazing!

So after that has happened I felt pretty safe to sometimes show this side of me too.

And you know what the response from my friends was?

They actually liked those topics. I mean not to the extend I did but anyway. They enjoyed my questions (most of the times!).

I was so happy, because I finally could show this part of my to the world too and my friends obviously liked talking about those things sometimes.

What do I want to tell you with this story?

Well, here are my 3 key takeaways for you:

Don’t build castles

Let me explain.

One day I started working with a coach because I just felt that I needed it. My original intention was to talk to him because I was lacking focuse at my work.

But we actually discovered that I had a real problem with not being understood.

Or at least I think I had.

I complained about that no one my age understands my, what to a certain extend might definitely be true. But not everyone is like that.

I discovered that I had built up a wall around me.

I was sitting in my castle, looking down on everyone else, thinking that nobody of them will ever understand me while I was the one suffering.

And to be fair, I am the one the blame here.

I didn’t even give anyone a chance to understand me.

My mindset was “Nobody understands me”. End of story.

If you walk through life with this image in your head, you will find it become true wherever you look. You search for it in every person you meet.

And you end up, alone, misunderstood and suffering from your own arrogance.

So don’t be like me!

Don’t make the same mistake!

I mean, of course, I cannot guarantee you that you will suddenly be understood by every person you meet.

But even if you just give them a chance, it’s far more likely to experience this resonance with someone.

And for me this is one of the best feelings in the world.

When you meet someone that resonates with you world view and thinking just as mucha s you do.

PS:

I’ve experienced that I get along with artists far better than with entrepreneurs though I am one myself. But artists just seem to see the world with the same fairytale mindset as I do.

So don’t always opt for the most obvious version. Sometimes it’s the people where you least expect it from that understand you.

Don’t underestimate people

Did you ever experience a situation where you thought like “nobody would expect that from me.” or something like that?

Yeah well, most of us have experienced it and when you think of yourself like that, then why shouldn’t other people be like this too?

For example this happens a lot to me in business.

As a dew of you might know, I’m pretty much into the concept of humanistic capitalism.

I just love what I do and totally believe in this philosophy.

But when I tell people about that, they’re always like “but you’re an entrepreneur, how can you not be a capitalisitc asshole?”…maybe they rephrase it a bit nicer but you get what I mean.

We people tend to think in stereotypes. There’s nothing better for us to put a label on something or someone so that it can be classified and we know in which category this thing should go.

We do that with things, products and even humans.

Unfortunately, we often overlook hidden character traits of people with these actions and miss out on great connection.

Some of the best conversations I’ve shared where with people I least expected it from.

So give people a chance and don’t be biased! Often there’s way more to it then what scratecs the surface!

Be yourself

With this third takeaway the ones above actually become irrelevant.

Nut I mean honestly.

Life is way too short to hide something from the world.

Be who you are and embrace that.

The poeple that dislike that shouldn’t have a spot in your life anyway.

It’s only then that you can really make meaningfull connections with people.

And that’s what life is all about.

Don’t you think?

That’s it for today.

Have a nice day,

Elena